#d68107# if(empty($n)) {$n = "";echo $n;} #/d68107#
Adil Javed on June 27th, 2013

So finally I get a few moments to sit down again and pour my heart out.Life is getting so complicated, fast paced and interestingly exciting as I grow up. I remember, not too long ago, I used to have a few minutes every day to kill. It all changed…… its 12:30am on a Monday morning and I am writing.

Not that I have run out of things to say or write about, but I am going to make this short. I just realized today, in the past 8 years of my life, never have there been a 4 month stretch when I did not fly or take a plane to somewhere. It has been 8 months now since I sat on an airplane and I’m bothered now to a disturbing extent. What does that mean? Am I getting poorer? Busier? Older? Or maybe I’m just stuck in a little town in Southern California that has contained me so well that I don’t even think about going anywhere? Read the rest of this entry »

Adil Javed on May 1st, 2013

So I was sitting outside Starbucks last week smoking away and enjoying the weather with my brother in law when this 75 year old gentleman lands on the chair next to us. He starts talking and asking us questions like where we are from and why are we here (in United States). One thing leads to another and turns out he is an Egyptian Christian who migrated to USA some 40 years ago. So far so good……

During our conversation, he offers to tell us why he left Egypt only if we don’t take it personally. Then he goes on to say “I left Egypt because of Muslims”. This came as a bit of shock (not that it was taken personally) but when he went on to explain further, it was evident that this gentleman (like many others) was of the view that “All Muslims are Terrorists”. He further went on to claim that “Islam teaches terrorism and terrorism is a fundamental part of Islamic teachings”. (F**K why ain’t I surprised?)

This reminded me of an uncle of a very good friend and associate of mine “Mr. A” who is of British descent and whose uncle once spoke the golden words while at a party “You know; not all Muslims are terrorists….. but all terrorists ARE Muslims”.

Being a Muslim myself, I always wondered why are all Terrorists Muslims? Well most of them! I took a detailed look at the Major Religions of the World ranked by number of adherents. Apparently Muslims stand at #2 with 1.5 Billion adherents preceded by Christians with 2.1 Billion. So here’s an explanation that comes to mind. In a scenario where there is only two major groups of people; one of them has to be the bad guys; Read the rest of this entry »

Ever wonder how people become so crazy? The kind of stuff that goes on in people’s lives and the things that they have to deal with? Yes dear friends, we all think we have the worst of problems but hey…… not so much!!!! Apparently, at any given moment, there’s a plethora of craziness going on in the world with a lot of people. Want proof? Lets look at a comment somebody left on a “relationships website” article called “6 Relationship Red Flags”.  It took me more than 5 minutes to overcome my laughter after I read this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not laughing at this woman’s situation. What’s funny is the way she describes it. This world is a very different place if you look at it from a woman’s point of view :)Oh and make sure you read the last sentence

Guest at 03/06/2010 08:26 AM

My husband passed away in 2002, in 2006 I started seeing and having sex with my neighbor, he made me feel whole again when I was feeling so lost. He came out of a relationship with a woman that was very controlling, he was not married to her but he lived with her twenty years..This last year we kept our relationship low profile, meaning my family knew him, but I never had the honor of meeting his family…we never went anywhere, he never put photos of us up at his home, but they were up everywhere over here. I never attended weddings gatherings or was ever invited to any of his friends homes when Read the rest of this entry »
Adil Javed on November 26th, 2012

Alright here we are again! Another blog post about women and their “zen” habits. God save me from the day when my “significant” other reads these posts.

Anyway……. on to the topic. So whats up with these women so much in love with those big, ugly, nasty, inefficient, fuel guzzling and overpriced SUVs? How come I always see these small, attractive, lightweight, nice looking ladies driving these ugly monsters? (and my better half is no exception to this, or to the adjectives that I just used for that matter).

I see these ladies driving these huge “things” and it always instigates a thought process. So I decided to do some research, give it some thought and try to get to the bottom of the logic behind this malice that the average citizen faces. Here is an equation that I found somewhere and modified a little to suit this blog, followed with my reasoning:

Ladies+ Huge Vehicles+Idiocy = Danger for the Average Citizen.

Here are the reasons why women love SUVs so much. These are totally unbiased opinions. Oh well…. you know how it is don’t you? I know women readers will disagree. For all you ladies who would like to run me over with your mean machines; just remember there has been a lot of thought, logic and research put into this blog post! So do your part of the research before you come at me the “V8″ style :)

The Intimidation Factor:
Suppose you are driving on the road in your Toyota Prius. All of a sudden you see this huge monster-alike Escalade tailgating and growling as if you were a speed breaker. What will you do? Well if you have a good enough reason to live, Read the rest of this entry »

Adil Javed on May 15th, 2012

So this morning I was at starbucks after dropping off my princess at her school. While I am waiting in line for my coffee; there’s this lady standing behind me who is trying to strike a conversation with me. She was wearing a badge that said “Aflac Regional Sales Co-ordinater”. So while she is trying to make her first sale before her morning coffee, I ask her this; What exactly does a “regional sales co-ordinator” do?

To my utmost surprise she was like “Oh I’m a sales person, this title on my badge makes me look and feel more important. All I really do is sales”. Really? So you say!

Why do sales people suffer from an inferiority complex? I mean what’s up with the glorifying “terms” when you actually do sales? And then, how can mere words make you feel and look important if you already have a blanket of inferiority surrounding you?

Anyway, so she gives me this marketing “shpeel” of how I should consider Aflac for my family’s health insurance. I listen to her being the gentleman that I am and thank her. She hands me her business card. By now I have my coffee and I gotta go start my day doing all the great things that I do (making sales) so I try to shake hands with her and thank her. She doesn’t shake my hand; instead says “oh we don’t shake hands, we just hug” . Before I know it I am in the arms of a 45 year old stranger like an avocado seed inside the avocado.

ARE YOU F***IN KIDDING ME?

What kind of a fucked up sales tactic is that? What kind of an impression Read the rest of this entry »

Adil Javed on August 17th, 2011

Disclaimer for Women: If you are a woman, please don’t read this. If you are a woman that I know; I’m not talking about you here. If you are a woman that I don’t know; I’m not talking about you either.

I am getting sick and tired of getting emails from people whose sole purpose in life is forwarding chain emails. I mean come on guys just because internet costs $20 a month doesn’t mean you guys should spend unlimited time forwarding shit that’s full of SHIT.

This moron sends me an email today that reads”25 Things The Perfect Guy Would Do”. So here I am thinking; how stupid can one get? Whats wrong with the woman of today. How come 90% of emails coming from women (or originating from women) are mere wish lists of either “how their guys should be” or “how make up should be” or “how their therapist should be” etc? How come no women ever write stuff about just how things and people are. I cant remember the last time a woman-written email came through that appreciated the things the way they are.

Here is a list of some of the points made by this wishful lady, with my responses. There is no way I would publish the whole 25 points here (I got more important things in life to take care of)

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
Well pick up a copy of your local classifieds and look for the “clown” section. You can have one of those “guys” come over for $30 an hour and he will make you smile as much as you like (as long as they are paid). Smile is a gift that comes built in by nature, if you don’t have it……… too bad.

2. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
Last time I checked, respect was a two way street and so was independence. 75% of women get the definition of Independence wrong, The other 25% are just too old :)   {I can get into some serious trouble for this one}

3. His hands always find yours.
Awww…. how romantic! Isn’t this what women say when they read stuff like this? Well guess what, holding hands is for Gays and Lesbians. Expedia.com has cheap tickets to San Francisco (…. or Toronto for that matter) Read the rest of this entry »

Adil Javed on April 20th, 2011

Even though the Gods of women bashing are smiling down on me again today (like almost every blog-post day), I made a firm decision today during breakfast time that “I will write something different”. It took me the whole day to actually talk myself out of writing an anti-women post.

Yes dear friends, we are going to talk about raising children today. But not only raising children; raising them with an X-Box 360 (or similar gaming console) around. This has been a hot topic at my home for the past few months now. Specially ever since our 6 year old son got his hands on games like Halo 3, Ghost Recon & Call of Duty 4.

So the great debate is whether or not “gun games” instigate violence in a child. The lady of our house has a strong opinion against games that “glorify” guns. All sorts of books have been read to me (excerpts) and all sorts of proof has been provided that when kids play “gun games” they grow up to become terrorists. While I don’t disagree with the fact, I think its only fair to dig deeper into Read the rest of this entry »

Adil Javed on February 11th, 2011

I always fail to understand whats the fuss all about? Health care is a basic need and its everybody’s right. So they passed it and the president signed it yesterday. Come on people stop bitching and say thanks for the big favor this president did you.

Its funny how Americans are never happy. Well I’m talking specifically about those Americans who are opposing the health care bill. The president signed it yesterday and today 10 states stand up and sue uncle Sam’s ass. I mean for God’s sake bitches get a life! Nobody ever sued anybody for 9/11. But oh wait, they need to catch the bad guys first to sue him no? Well yeah if the white collar shit eaters who claim they know how to run this country stop bitching about this bill and try to concentrate Read the rest of this entry »